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The Cycle of Separation and Connection between Twinsouls

The Cycle of Separation and Connection between Twinsouls

If you have met a twinsoul / soul mate, you are likely to have experienced the frustration of swinging back and forth between connecting then withdrawing. This can be very confusing to the twinsouls / soul mates and also it can be very painful if they do not understand the divine purpose of this cycle.

However, many factors contribute for the NEED for this cycle:

1) Firstly I would say that if either of you aren't ready to unite, it is because you're not supposed to be ready - it's not the right time. And by unite, I mean balance the karma. Our souls may never intend to unite in the physical sense on earth and we don’t just unite with one soul or all aspects of our own soul – we unite with many, but firstly we have to unite with ourselves, our truths and accept ourselves for who we truly are right now.

Pointing the finger and blaming the other twinsoul / soul mate means you are not ready yourself either. Acceptance is needed and the ability to become whole within yourself and not feel the need for your twinsoul / soul mate to fill any voids in your life or heart that you have not filled yourself. This has been said so many times, but it is very important to take the time to fully understand this. If you are looking to the other in order to feel love, completeness, validity etc it means you are not looking to yourself first. This void you have within will only be reflected back to you by your twin soul / soul mate and you meeting them may only be in this lifetime to learn that rather than getting together.

It means you can't unite because there are gaps you need to fill in yourselves so that you can reflect wholeness back to each other and your karma can be balanced / healed.  If you were to join when you are not whole, you would live in eternity with great pain still remaining. BUT that won’t happen – it can’t. But I was just making the point that the whole reason for meeting is to see what those inner voids are and work out how to heal yourself.

2) You separate because you haven't reached unconditional love and acceptance for yourself and your twinsoul / soul mate.

Sometimes it is very difficult to not get caught up in your own views, emotions, ideals and forget that your twinsoul / soul mate has their own view of things. Often it is the ego that stands in the way; you just can't seem to agree on anything. This is because you are both coming to the same conclusions from the opposite angles and you both have inner issues that still need healing. Remember the mirror; You are the reflection of each other in some ways.

It is the ego though, that causes us to feel that the other is doing it "all wrong" and also we convince ourselves of that in order to avoid taking responsibility for our own lives, our own happiness. Instead we play the victim in order to avoid looking inwards and dealing with the issue of not loving ourselves. We say to ourselves, "If he/she loved me, then he/she would show it the way I am showing it." We conclude that if our twin soul / soul mate doesn't express themselves the same way as us, then they just don't love us. We begin to regard them as cold, heartless and even cruel. But we agreed to meet this soul to go through these things. Now you need to ask yourself why? What are you supposed to learn? Are there any relationship patterns that keep repeating in your life? What does that tell you about YOURSELF?

My own thinking used to be so one-sided. I believed he was messing me around and playing me for a fool. I felt extremely hurt and in turn acted in ways which hurt him. Blinded by my own fear of losing him and trying to "prove" his love, I hadn't thought once about how I was hurting him (and I must say looking back, I was doing pretty much the same things to him that he was doing to me, but in a mirrored way).

I also never even considered the fact that deep down I knew I wasn't ready to unite at that time either - all my focus was on him - he wasn't doing this, he wasn't doing that and it hurt my pride so much that the painful rejection is all I could think of. There were so many insurmountable obstacles but I never even dared consider this person wasn’t the person I was supposed to end up with in a romantic way. All I knew is that in meeting him I was awakened to my spirituality, my guides, my belief in eternality, that maybe I could be loved, accepted, have a purpose, a meaning. I thought that giving up on him would mean all this other stuff would be lost too. I was afraid I was meaningless and I thought the twin soul theories gave me “meaning” (a deluded one), until I discovered I do have meaning and then the “need” for him fell away and the “need” for these inaccurate theories that are more limiting than liberating fell away too. Now that is true freedom.  

I tried to protect myself by shutting down. I chased him, but in a way that made out it was all some trivial game of power. He tried to protect himself by trying to make me chase him (to prove to himself my love for him), then doing the same as I was with him chasing me and me running away. All games to try and feel validated externally because we weren’t validating ourselves internally. Fears of commitment, because we were afraid that in getting close to each other, we would inevitably get closer to ourselves and be faced with all the things about ourselves we were rejecting. We were running away from our own pain of self-rejection.

3) Twinsouls separate because at first the connection feels "crazy". It threatens all that we think we know about the way the world works. 

You bump into your twin soul / soul mate for the first time. Boom! Something happens, you know this person somehow even though you don't recognise them on a physical level. You feel such intense love, but you wonder how this can be so when you don't know them. You conclude it's just lust or obsession, but why is there that knowing feeling deep in your soul? You know your life has changed forever, you can just sense it, but you don't have a clue why. Then you can't stop thinking about this person ALL THE TIME, re-living times when you saw him/her over and over and over. The love you feel for this person increases over time when you think logically it should fade. You can't stop fantasising about them, being distracted by thinking of them to the point that you cannot concentrate on anything else. You just feel scared. Scared of losing this person somehow. Scared you have already lost them. Scared because you don't even know them and that it means you are crazy to feel such intensity.

So you "run" from it. You try to block it out and convince yourself it's just lust. You've been taught by society that it's unhealthy to pine after someone for too long, therefore you try your hardest to forget all about him/her. But you can't. You try your hardest, but you just can't. Then you bump into him/her again unexpectedly and all those feelings flood back to you. All your hard work to try and kill these feelings goes down the drain and within a second you are back to square one. Tie this in with all the reflected fear, arguments, confusion and it all gets even more scary. Sometimes it just feels safer to run away and hope it all just disappears...

It's understandable (or at least it should be) that fear is going to present itself in this situation. It's a fight or flight situation and often twinsouls / soul mates run. But remember, this running is needed in order for them to have the distance to MAKE SENSE of it all and to force them to be with their own feelings to bring them to the surface when they have been laying dormant in the subconscious, reeking havoc. Granted, it could take years or lifetimes, but the point is, if you or your twinsoul / soul mate are "running", then it is because this is part of your life path - to get the distance to make sense of this new reality. There is always a CHOICE to either heal ourselves or keep running from ourselves and keep attracting the same sorts of unavailable people who will continue to bring up our issues until we heal them.

It's to do with overcoming the ego. It takes time. It's as if we have to reprogram ourselves to learn to live from soul consciousness rather than ego consciousness. It won't come over night. We have incarnated possibly hundreds of times, living in our egos. We can't expect ourselves or our twinsouls / soul mates to suddenly flick a switch and be back to living fully in soul consciousness.

4) Twins reconnect for reassurance.

They want to know you are still there. They want to test if you still love them because they definitely know they love you, but are scared it is just one-sided and you've "gotten over" them. Of course they'll deny it though. But true soul connections are eternal. Even if you have to move on in this lifetime, you will meet again to continue to learn and grow together until eventually you balance the karma between you and can unite.

5) Twins reconnect to heal each other.

Through the cycle of separation and connection, the twinsouls / soul mates are often destined to meet up in the physical several times in order to heal each other, by pushing each other’s buttons to bring up the issues for healing, or by simply feeling the love for each other which can be healing in itself. When a stage of healing within each individual is complete, they may meet again to connect and expand each other in energy (love) which they will then need to separate again to "process". It's as if they meet up to receive a challenge. Once they know what the challenge is (subconsciously) they both go their separate ways to achieve it. Once achieve, they receive that healing and go onto the next.

6) We separate from our twins when we have individual karma to be balanced.

Karma - the cause and effect cycle created by us through our lifetimes needs to be balanced before we can unite with our twinsouls / soul mates. Before we incarnated into this lifetime, and any other lifetime, our souls made agreements with other souls to meet on the physical plane and learn lessons from each other. They may be tough lessons, wonderful lessons but all will be helpful in the end. By this I mean that eventually, even if we perceive a situation to be negative, we will always learn a positive from it. All karma must be fulfilled by the individual twinsoul /soul mates before they can come back together again in complete unity.

7) We (may) separate from our twinsouls / soul mates when we are destined to be in other relationships.

Through connecting with your twinsoul / soul mate, you will feel increased love in your soul as long as you are able to put ego aside. Oftentimes we may marry a soulmate in order to share this increased love with them to help them awaken too or because we have karma to be balanced with them as well and we need to learn from them too.

8) We separate so we aren't distracted from our individual awakening.

If we were together all the time before reunion occurred, we would remain reflecting our own voids that we need to heal individually. We would also not be able to balance our separate karma with others and would not have the yearning for each other as a catalyst to greater spiritual searching.

So you see, the cycle of separation and connection is NEEDED in order for us to fully heal, awaken. We must all accept the journey towards reunion as JUST AS IMPORTANT as union itself. To unite too quickly before we are ready would leave us unfulfilled and unhealed.

We must accept ourselves and our twinsouls / soul mates and not blame each other for not being ready NOW. It's all part of the process; it's all part of the path we agreed upon before birth. ACCEPT your path and yourselves and it will all come to you in perfect time.


© 2009  Copyright by Karen Crystal. 
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